I have a love/hate relationship with the NYC marathon and before I can talk about the 2007 NYC marathon I need to back up a few years to the 2003 NYC Marathon. In November 2003 I was 8 months off my 2nd ACL reconstruction, I hadn't run in years due to knee injuries, and I was out of shape. My husband and I went from NC where we were living at the time to NYC to babysit our nieces while my sister and brother-in-law ran the NYC Marathon. The girls, James and I had a great time during the day and they ran a 4:38 marathon. When we found our way to the finish line after the race to meet up with them I was inspired by the faces of the people who had finished the race. I left NYC feeling that I could run again. I had no designs to run a marathon, I just wanted to run maybe a 10k. I'd always wanted to run the Peachtree Road race in Atlanta (it's still on my bucket list by the way).
I went back to Charlotte and ran my first 2 mile run in years. I did it, my knee held up and I thought hey maybe I can run again. Then I came across a flyer for a running group in Charlotte that advertised a Just Getting Started Plan to train for the Cooper River Bridge Run 10k in Charleston, South Carolina. I thought I'd check it out and was introduced to the Galloway Running Method. It wasn't long before I thought I can do this. A few months later in February 2004 I moved to Houston, TX and looked up the Galloway Group in Houston. They didn't have a 10k group or even a half marathon group at the time so I decided, well why not I'll join the marathon group.
I signed up for the 2005 Rock n Roll Marathon in Phoenix and trained for an ran my first marathon. It was "slow", 6 hours 18 minutes but it was the race I trained for and what I was prepared for and I finished feeling strong. I put my name in the lottery that spring for the NYC marathon but didn't get in that year and then I was finally was pregnant with my first child. She was born in March 2006. I put my name in for the lottery again when she was 3 months old, because at the time NYC had a 4 times and you are guaranteed entry and you could defer and run the next year. I had no intention of running the marathon in 2006 and so of course I did get selected in the lottery that year. I deferred until 2007 and started training seriously in the summer of 2007.
My training was great. I was still running using the Galloway Method but because of having a small child and the distance to the Galloway group in Houston I did the training for this marathon on my own. 3 weeks prior to the NYC marathon I ran the Space City 10 miler in 1:46:02 with a lot of leg left at the end of the race, which would predict a sub 5 hour marathon by the race predictor calculators. I really wasn't planning on a sub 5 hour marathon and despite what the race predictors thought I didn't really think I had a sub 5 in me. I had 3 goals times in mind depending on how the day shaped up. Goal A - the if all goes well stretch goal I could run it in under 5:15 b) if things didn't feel great I could do it in 5:30-5:45 and c) if it wasn't my day at all I figured I could still break the 6 hour mark. Either way I headed up to NYC feeling strong and ready to go.
We arrived in NYC on Friday evening. My hope was we could get to our hotel, check in and make it to the Expo on Friday but my motion sensitive 1-1/2 year old had different ideas. She got sick in the cab on the way to the hotel so we got to find a laundromat in Queens to wash her clothes and car seat and then find some dinner.
Saturday we headed to the Expo. I don't remember a lot of the Expo except that we should have taken a cab from the subway to the Expo as it was a lot of excess walking especially since I remember we took a wrong turn and added an extra block or 2 to the Expo. (true confession - I do have some written notes of my marathon experience from 7 years ago so this is not all completely from memory and I noted that it was very windy and cold that morning and that the wind made the walk even more difficult). That Saturday also marked the US Olympic Marathon Trials which were being held in/around Central Park. I believe it was a 3 loop course around the park. This meant I had to take a bit of a detour to get to our morning destination which was the Natural History Museum. After the museum we went over to Central Park where we were supposed to meet my sister, brother-in-law, nieces and my parents at the carousel. They were running late so we ended up meeting them at the zoo instead. (do you see a problem with my day before a marathon preparation?). After spending time at the Central Park Zoo and Children's Zoo we left the park and caught a cab to Little Italy for Dinner. After dinner we took another cab back to Grand Central Station where the rest of the family to a train to their hotel (I don't know where they were staying) and my husband Megan and I took the subway back to our hotel in Queens. It's probably a good thing I didn't have a step tracker then because I don't think I want to know how many steps I took that Saturday.
Me - Saturday at the Central Park Zoo with Megan.
NYC Marathon 11/4/2007
And now for the point of this blog entry - marathon day.
I woke up at 3:00 in the morning with severe lower GI issues. This is not the way you want to start off the morning a marathon. I took some Pepto and by 4:00 in the morning when my alarm went off to wake up, I was feeling a little bit better so I went ahead and got ready and went down to the lobby to catch my cab to the library. This was the first year they were going to run buses from the Staten Island Ferry and in the past you needed to get to the library early to get a bus without a long line. The change to the Ferry option must have made a huge change in the buses because where there were normally lines at 5:00 in the morning at the library there was no line and I walked straight on the bus. So I got to the starting area in Staten Island at 5:10am a full 5 hours before the start of the marathon. It was cold and windy and cold. I don't know how cold it was but I do know that I spent the next 5 hours trying to stay warm. At one point I had on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of gloves, sweats, long sleeve shirt, and jacket with a blanket wrapped around me. 5 hours on the lawn of Ft. Wardsworth is a really, really long time. I gratefully went to the multi-denominational church service and enjoyed the short respite from the cold and wind inside the tent. The bag drop area was an absolute nightmare for me. I don't do well in crowds and it was a mass cluster of people trying to go in opposite directions pushing against each other. It was misery. I honestly started to have a panic attack and couldn't breath in that mess. Even though it meant ditching a few of my layers I was glad to finally get out of the bag drop area and head to the corrals.
The race hadn't even started yet, but the early morning wake up, the 5 hours of trying to stay warm, the crowd control in the bag drop area and the walking around was already taking it's toll on me.
My Corral was on the upper deck of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge for which I was grateful. I was way back in the very back of the corral and it was at long walk from where I started to the actual start line. You also can't hear or see anything so the start was a little anticlimactic. There was a little confusion for me as to where the start line actually was. The crowd started running at least a 1/4 of a mile before we got to the starting line and then I started my watch before getting to the start line as we went through some orange balloons that I thought was the start line. All in all there was about 12 minute delta between race start and me crossing the starting line.
Before I go any further I'm going to break down the average pace requirements based on my option times and my previous marathon.
5:00 - 11:26 min/mile
5:15 - 12:00 min/mile
5:30 - 12:35 min/mile
5:45 - 13:10 min/mile
6:00 - 13:44 min/mile
6:18 - 14:25 min/mile
The first 2 miles of the race is basically the Varazanno bridge. The bridge wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. It was actually kind of fun with the water ships shooting off colored water to the side. When I looked at the professional stock photos after the race I actually managed to find myself on the bridge in one of the pictures in a Where's Waldo sort of fashion. I'm circled in red below coming down the bridge on the left side of the bridge (if you are facing the way we were running that is).
The first water stop in NYC due to the bridge is around mile 3 right before the 5k mark. I finished the first 5k in 34:07 or a 10:59 pace. I was a little faster than I really wanted to be at this point but I knew that was due to the race start excitement and the bridge. I also needed to find a porta potty but the lines at the 5k were just too long to wait in.
At the 6 mile line I still hadn't found a porta potty without a super long line so I asked a grocery store owner if I could use her's and she graciously led me to the back of the store. I crossed the 10k at 1:12:27 or an 11:39 pace which was really where I wanted to be, but it meant I was still going too fast as I had a bathroom stop in there (The pace from the 5k - 10k mark was 12:20 min/mile which included a stop to the bathroom-who knows what the moving time was).
The 10k mark. I still had a smile on my face and was feeling pretty good here. (and yes my cell phone fit in that little pocket on my shoe back then.)
The mile 6 water stop is probably what sealed my fate for the race. Prior to the race I practiced waiting until mile 3 for my first drink or water and mile 6 for my first Gatorade I would take Gatorade 6-7 miles in my training. The first sip of Gatorade hit my already sensitive stomach from my GI issues earlier in the morning and I immediately started getting stomach cramps and an upset stomach. I also started to get dizzy. I'm sure it was probably a result of starting the race slightly dehydrated due to the GI issues I had been experiencing. The next 3 miles I forced myself to slow down and drink more water at the water stops to try to get the dizziness under control. I crossed the 15k mark at 1:55:37 and was down to an overall pace of 12:24. My pace over that 3+ mile stretch was down to 13:53. My 5-5:15 marathon hopes were gone but I was still hoping that maybe, just maybe i could pull it together over the next 3 miles and go for the 5:30-5:45 marathon.
Slowing down some and getting more water was helping the dizziness but I was also starting to get cold and wished I had kept an extra layer of clothes. What was I thinking running in shorts and a t-shirt. The colder I felt the more my muscles were getting tight and by the 20k (12.4 miles) mark I was miserable. My overall pace was 13:21 and my pace for that 3 miles was 16:12. I knew I was in trouble and shifting to plan C and just hoping I could get through the race.
The half way mark was at the start of the bridge into Queens. I seriously thought about giving up at this point. I was in tears. The race was not the race I wanted to run. My stomach was cramping again. I had to stop at the bathrooms again. My half marathon time was 3 hours 0 minutes and 26 seconds.
I was so happy to be leaving Brooklyn finally and heading into Queens. I felt like I was finally starting to get somewhere so I kept going. 2 Bridges down - 3 more to go. I pulled out my phone to call my husband to let the family know I was way off my pace and to know where to look for them.
The next few miles were a blur. A sub 6 hour race plan C was out of the question and realistically beating my 2005 marathon was also out of the question. All I wanted to do was just hold on an finish the race. I really can't tell you much about Queens at all.
I hit 25k (15.5 miles) at 3:40:54 for an overall pace of 14:13 but my last 5k pace was 17:42. I was really struggling through Queens. The 25k mark was in the middle of the Queensboro Bridge. 3 down 2 to go. I was finally heading in to Manhattan. The Queensboro Bridge was miserable. You are running on the lower level of the bridge so there is no sun and the wind was whipping through the bridge making it miserably cold. The only positive part was that once you headed into Manhattan there was a huge crowd on the other side of the bridge. The downside to having dropped off the pace so much was that the crowd along the course was really starting to thin out in a lot of places. There wasn't as much crowd support for me.
My husband met me at the 75th street and pointed me towards the rest of the family at 81st street.
It was great to see a familiar face (or 8). And they had a banana for me. Another hard part of the NYC marathon is that the start time is 11 am which means other than a bagel and banana for breakfast around 6 am I hadn't really had any solid food. You don't want to eat a big meal before running. Its now close to 3 pm. The Banana was the best thing I had eaten in forever.
The banana didn't sit well in my stomach either but at least I was able to keep it down. But by mile 18 I was feeling complete defeated. The crowd was none existent here, the racers had spread out. I felt very alone, dizzy, sore, and stiff. I sat down on the curb and had a long talk with myself. I wanted to quit but I didn't come all this way to quit. I wasn't sure I could do another 8 miles. I didn't know if I could walk another 8 feet.
Finally I somehow convinced myself to just keep going. I don't to this day know how or why I was able to do that. the 30k mark (18.6 miles) came in at 4:37:07 for an overall pace of 14:52 and a pace over that last 5k of 18:05. Now some of that is my stop for my banana and some is my stop for my mile 18 chat but I was barely moving.
I refer to this picture as Defeat - it is certainly how I felt.
My new goal was to finish in front of Larry the Lighthouse. I was not going to be beat by a guy wearing a lighthouse.
I finally passed Larry for good about mile 20 and managed to finish 30 minutes ahead of Larry the Lighthouse. (yes I did have to look that up and record it after the race - it was that important to me)
The next 3 miles took me through Harlem and across the bridge into the Bronx. The bridge into the Bronx was a drawbridge. I think I might have picked up my pace slightly on the draw bridge. They might have covered it, but I could still feel the grates and I am not a fan of draw bridges. I was so happy to get to the Bronx. There was no crowd support in Harlem (I have had more crowd support on small local races than there was in Harlem) so it was wonderful to have some crowd support again in the Bronx. You spend very little time in the Bronx and soon I was crossing my 5th and final bridge and headed back into Manhattan. 35k (21.7 miles) came in at 5:25:42 for an overall pace of 14:59. I had picked up the pace a little though and was at 15:38 for that 5k. My sister was talking me through some of it on the phone. It helped to have some support.
I got to the 40k mark (24.8 miles) at 6:14:27 - an overall pace of 15:04 and a pace for the last 5k of 15:51
My family met me again at mile 24 right before heading into Central park and my wonderful sister ran with me for the last 2 miles. She dropped out before the finishers area but I really don't know if I'd have made it through the park without her.
I have no recollection of running in Central Park. I remember Diane telling me to think of it as a known route at home. I remember thinking it was a very long 2 miles and the finish line had to be here soon. I remember I was really, really cold. I couldn't tell you if there were hills, if the trees were changing colors, if there were crowds cheering. I do know I wasn't going to quit. I kept telling myself to just put one foot in front of the other.
Finally we came around the corner to the finish. My sister left the course and I headed into the finishers shoot. Somehow I managed to cross the finish line with a "smile" (forced though it was) on my face and my arms in the air.
After 26.2 miles - 20 of them in pain, I found my way to the finish line in 6 hours 36 minutes and 20 seconds.
It was not the race I had planned, it was not the race I had trained for. It was a race of perseverance and pigheadedness.
The finishers shoot felt like it lasted forever. I got my medal and had my picture taken.
They gave me my mylar blanket and I stumbled towards gear check. The bag felt so heavy and I was so weak. It was such a long long walk to the family reunion area. All I wanted to do was sit down somewhere. So I did, right there on the curb in central park. But a volunteer came by and made me get up. I really didn't want to get up. I didn't want to move. I really wanted to just sit there and cry. I was so disappointed in myself and the race. The volunteer gave me a salt tablet and helped carry my bag to the family reunion area where I finally found my family.
I have no idea where we ended up eating. I think it might have been a restaurant in Grand Central Station. I don't even remember eating or getting back to the hotel.
The NYC marathon broke me though. This is what I wrote one week after the NYC marathon in 2007.
"I should add that a week has passed now and I have a little more perspective on things. I am still very disappointed in my race. I am disappointed that I was feeling so badly during the race that I couldn't even see the sights, that I couldn't run the best I can run, that I felt like I gave up. But I also know that I did the best I could do with the cards that were dealt to me. It was just a bad day. Unfortunately bad days happen, you just wish they didn't happen on the race day that you have planned for and trained for for a long, long time."
It took me a long time to get over the post marathon blues. It took until Thanksgiving before I could manage even a 10k. I did PR that 10k at the Turkey Trot.
I knew I had to run another marathon one day to get the taste of NYC out of my mouth. I haven't been able to do it yet. I thought about changing my Aramco Houston Half Marathon in January 2008 to the Chevron Houston Marathon but I couldn't get over my funk enough to run another long run. After all the training I did, I was barely in shape to run the half and then I hurt the MCL in my knee during that race when someone ran into me and took of my shoe while running. I limped across the finish line of that race with a swollen knee and a lot of pain. My race season was turning into a huge disappointment. I stopped running to heal and didn't get back to it. I'd lost my motivation. I'd lost my drive. The Houston Half Marathon in 2008 was my last race for a long time.
In that time I got pregnant, had a miscarriage, got pregnant again and had my beautiful second daughter in 2010. I was going to run the Princess Half Marathon for my 35th Birthday in 2011 but training with 2 kids at home one of them less than a year and working full time wasn't happening. I put it off again. In January 2013 I was sitting at home following all the social media content of the RunDisney WDW marathon weekend and decided I need to that. But this time I was going to do it right. I wasn't going to dive right into marathon training, I'd work on the half marathon distance for at least a year and maybe run the 2015 Walt Disney Marathon. In the mean time the 2013 Wine & Dine Half Marathon at WDW sounded like fun. I set that as my goal race.
Since 2013 I have run 2 5k races, 1 10k race, 2 10 mile races and 4 half marathons. Since NYC I can't drink Gatorade during a race without it causing stomach cramps. I was determined that 2014 would be the year of the marathon and registered for the Rock n' Roll Marathon December 7, 2014 in San Antonio. I let the NYC marathon, fear and a foot injury derail that and I dropped back to the half marathon distance.
But my experience in NYC is no longer going to rule. I will run at least one more marathon, hopefully in 2015 or 2016 but I refuse to let my fears of a repeat of the NYC marathon win. I no longer feel like I have to run a marathon to redeem myself but I want to. Why? That is a good question. Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to get up at 2:30 in the morning on a Saturday to try to beat the Houston heat to get a long run in? Why do I do something that means I come home and spend my evenings with a foam roller and my Saturday's walking like a duck? There is the comradery aspect of training - between the online running community and my wonderful training group. There is the fitness aspect of it (although sometimes I wonder if it really is healthy to do this to my body). There is the mental aspect of running (mental toughness, time to think and clear my head).
I don't know why I want to do it. I just know I love running and I love the challenge. But I now know that even if I stick to the half marathon and don't run another full marathon. My finish at NYC does not define me. No single race, no single event can do that.
So I have a love/hate relationship with the NYC marathon. Love because the NYC marathon is what motivated me to get back to running again as an adult and hate because of how defeated I felt after running it.
But this medal no longer stands for disappointment it stands for determination and triumph. Maybe it's time I take it out of the box in the closet and add it to the rest of my running medals because I definitely earned it the hard way.
